Dear Coleen, I’ve been with my boyfriend for a couple of years and I’d say we have a pretty perfect relationship – it’s fun, sexy and we’re good friends too.
I don’t want to come across as one of those jealous, insecure girlfriends, but he has a female best friend who I absolutely cannot stand. And I have good reason.
Right from the day I met her, she’s been cold, judgmental and is always trying to score points when it comes to who knows my boyfriend better – her or me? She can’t resist bringing up stories from years ago and she’s in touch with him all the time.
He has other female friends who I get on great with and have no problem with at all, but this one is on another level.
A couple of weeks ago, a few of us were at a pub for lunch for the first time in ages and she sat on his lap and made a big show of herself.
I literally couldn’t believe it! I didn’t react, but I wanted to throw her off and tell her exactly what I think of her.
I know she’s doing all of this to annoy me, but what do I do?
My boyfriend loves her and they’ve known each other for years, so it’s proving awkward.
If you can – and I know it’s hard if someone’s trying to provoke you – don’t make a big deal out of it or confront her because I’m pretty sure she’s trying to get a reaction out of you and cause a problem between you and your boyfriend.
She’s doing her best to wind you up, so don’t take the bait. And it’s probably down to jealousy, pure and simple.
But you should talk to your boyfriend and tell him you don’t like the way she behaves towards you and that you think it’s disrespectful and provocative.
I don’t think that’s coming across as needy or possessive, and it’s not as if you’re telling him to cut her off.
He should take your feelings on board and – even though he has a good friendship with this girl – he’s in a relationship with you and ought to put you first.
I think if this girl was decent and a true friend, she wouldn’t behave like this.
She would welcome you and want to get to know you, and wouldn’t be sitting on your boyfriend’s lap because she would realise it might upset or annoy you.